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need short jokes with unexpected twist

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yortem:
i have facebook page (not english) and i need a few jokes .. examples:

once i saw my dward neighbor waiting for a bus. i told him "jump in, i'll take you home!" but he was angry at me for some reason. so i closed my bag's zipper and kept on walking.

another one:

sometimes when it rains, my little daughter looking at the window with a sad face, sometimes i really think about letting her in the house.

(sorry for bad english)

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